Last year, the U.S. Surgeon General declared loneliness a major public health problem. While it was made worse by the pandemic, both before and after the pandemic loneliness was common and troublesome to many.
A survey from Harvard’s School of Education found that 21% of U.S. adults described loneliness as a major problem; surprisingly, the age group that expressed the greatest problem (29%) were those 30-44, and adults over 65 had the lowest (10%) reported frequency.
If you have children or grandchildren, remember that they can also suffer profoundly from loneliness.
You do not have to be socially isolated to feel lonely; those with intact families and/or with many co-workers can feel lonely. Loneliness is a disconnection from others, even when they surround you. If you feel lonely in such a setting, you blame yourself though you should not.
Our ubiquitous technology, which is supposed to help, often worsens the problem. Dealing with others through social media rather than in person does not create deep bonds.
Those who spend too much time at work may end up spending less time with family and friends with resulting feelings of loneliness.
Loneliness has been found to correlate strongly with both poor mental and physical health. We are social animals and do better in all spheres when we feel connected to others.
If you feel lonely, there are many ways to lessen this feeling.
Reach out to friends and family. Maintaining friendship requires work but need not be burdensome. A quick email with some news or a birthday or holiday card with some personal lines added takes little time and strengthens bonds. Pick up the phone!
Volunteer. Helping others gives you a sense of community connection and may lead to new friendships with those alongside whom you are working.
Join groups with whom you share interests. Alongside fellow photographers, quilters, singers, or stamp collectors you will create new bonds.
There are many groups at churches, Councils on Aging, and community centers where you can meet new friends.
Adopt a pet if you can deal with the time demands. The unconditional love of a dog is its own reward, and walking your dog is a great way to meet new people.
Limit your use of social media. Taking longer breaks from Facebook and the like and interacting in the flesh will usually make you feel better.
Have a single older friend or neighbor? Call them!
Finally, remember that feeling lonely is not something to feel ashamed of and that there are many people out there who would love to connect.
Edward Hoffer MD is Associate Professor of Medicine, part-time, at Harvard.
What Does The Doctor Say?
By Dr. Edward Hoffer