Specially Processed American Meat

            I like Spam!

            There, I’ve said it. I like Spam. That would be Spam with a big “S”, not spam with a small “s”. No one likes spam with a small “s”. Spam with a small “s” is junk that fills your email inbox with unsolicited commercial jetsam of useless garbage.

            Spam with a big “S” is a delicious wedding of pork and ham, which can be served in a variety of ways that satisfies one’s hunger for specially processed American meat. It comes in an easily recognized, convenient, rectangular container that can sit in your pantry for years. Whenever the cabinet is bare of other foods and the refrigerator is empty of leftover pizza or Chinese food, Spam is the go-to luncheon choice in our house. Well, for me – my bride hates it.

            Spam has been much maligned. It has a reputation as a low-quality product associated with World War II rations and poverty. Also, its high sodium content is frowned upon by sophisticated foodies of the world. Hey, I say everything in moderation, right? It is nutritious … really … and it fed our troops through thick and thin. If it’s good enough for Uncle Sam’s boys in the trenches, it’s good enough for me.

            I like Spam!

            Spam is versatile. It can be prepared in a wide-ranging variety of ways. Of course it can be eaten right out of the can, sliced to fit nicely between two slices of bread, preferably Wonder Bread white, maybe toasted, perhaps with a little mayonnaise and a slice of crisp lettuce. You can fry it and pair it with your morning eggs instead of pricey bacon for a nice breakfast. It can be diced and mixed in with scrambled eggs or rice. It makes a great hash too. I haven’t tried it, but some say you haven’t lived until you’ve tasted a delicious Spam potato chowder.

            There are hundreds of recipes for Spam, mostly created by Hormel, the manufacturer, but who cares as long as it tastes good. Right?

            I am surprised that I have never seen Spam on a restaurant menu, particularly at a diner paired with home fries and a pickle. Mmmm good. Or a sub shop. I could certainly devour a good Spam sub from time to time. Not to mention ground Spam on a pizza. Now you’re talkin’.

            Spam is really popular in Hawaii. According to Hormel, Hawaiians consume 7,000,000 cans of Spam per year, that’s five cans per person. It is ingrained in the island culture, even surpassing pineapple. “Hawaii’s Spam Cookbook” is a best seller there and is a staple in nearly every Hawaiian cook’s kitchen.

            Who wouldn’t enjoy a delicious, chopped pineapple, mango and Spam taco drizzled with a balsamic glaze. Or crispy Spam fries dipped in ranch dressing. Maybe a breakfast quesadilla or a jalapeno popper egg roll. Man, I’m hungry already.

            Each May, 25,000 people or more show up for the annual Waikiki SPAM JAM, a fundraiser for the Hawaii Food Bank, where people celebrate all things Spam. Costumed characters dressed as cans of Spam circulate throughout the crowd hocking blue and yellow tote bags, T-shirts and hats. Restaurants offer samples of all their best Spam dishes. The SPAM JAM is truly Spam heaven.

            I think a nice Specially Processed American Meat grilled cheese sandwich would hit the spot right now.

            I like Spam!

            Editor’s note: Mattapoisett resident Dick Morgado is an artist and retired newspaper columnist whose musings are, after some years, back in The Wanderer under the subtitle “Thoughts on ….” Morgado’s opinions have also appeared for many years in daily newspapers around Boston.