Promises, Promises, and Portuguese Pastry

            The presidential election is finally upon us. Some folks have already voted by mail and others will vote early at town hall. Still, others will wait until actual Election Day. They can anticipate a large turnout so expect to deal with long lines at the polls, unless Mother Nature doesn’t like any of the candidates and sends us a drenching rain. Or, heaven forbid, a late-season hurricane that will surely keep people home, especially the undecided (are there still undecideds?).

            I, for one, have already cast my ballot, mainly because I don’t like long lines. Plus, a nearby restroom is a prerequisite for this old guy to stand in any line for longer than five minutes.

            I’ve been keeping a close eye on the candidates for what seems like a lifetime. You may have noticed that they all make promises and lots of them. Some presidents are able to keep their promises, but most cannot. Some offer pie-in-the sky just to gain votes. Others are sincere when they promise to do this or that, but then must face the reality that Congress actually calls the shots. There have been many promises kept while many never materialized.

            During his campaign, Democrat Lyndon Johnson promised to “never let our boys” go to war. His successor, Republican Richard Nixon, promised that he “had a secret plan to end” the Vietnam war. How’d that work out?

            Do you remember “Read my lips, no new taxes.”?  That was Republican George H. W. Bush’s famous promise. He based that promise on projections that the economy would grow. Instead, a recession began.

            Democratic candidate Woodrow Wilson promised to keep the United States out of war in Europe. Alas, 34 days after being elected to a second term, he signed a Declaration of War against Germany. Circumstances often control whether a promise can be kept.

            Republican Herbert Hoover is famous for promising “A chicken in every pot and two cars in every garage.” That was “fake news.” He never said it. The slogan, however, took on a life of its own and Hoover won the election.

            President James Polk, a Democrat, promised to resolve the border problem between Oregon and Canada. He did. He promised to reduce tariffs on foreign goods too. Any of this sound familiar? He also promised to serve one term, which he did, then died three months into it.

            Presidential campaigns produce so many promises it is hard to keep up. Promises, promises, and more promises!

            I have a few promises I have been waiting to hear from the current candidates.

            When I was a teacher, one school I worked at would play a game called “Bombardment” in phys. ed. class. It was actually dodgeball which surely has a different meaning than bombardment. I would like one candidate to promise to create a Department of Peace. The Department of Defense was once called the Department of War. Which do you prefer?

            Another promise that would have gotten my vote is to offer a large tax break to cover my annual cost of eating. Food prices are so high.

            And how about forgiving the loan I will be taking out when I install a new lawn next year. My lawn is a national disaster thanks to all the dogs that have stopped by to visit. Do you know how much grass seed, soil, and fertilizer cost?

            I am not greedy. One last promise that would have insured my vote, a nice warm malassada Portuguese pastry waiting for me at the polls.

            Didn’t happen. Oh well. Be sure to vote if you haven’t already!

            Mattapoisett resident Dick Morgado is an artist and happily retired writer. His newspaper columns appeared for many years in daily newspapers around Boston.

Thoughts on…

By Dick Morgado