Well, I tried to do the right thing. I tried to join the green revolution. I am trying to save the planet, I truly am.
Last summer I gave up my environment-polluting, gas lawn mower. I purchased a new-fangled, battery-operated grass cutter. It has all the bells and whistles: It is quiet, it is light so I can hang it on the shed wall. (Why I would do that, I don’t know, but it is an important feature to have. Don’t you agree?)
It mulches the clippings, it is self-propelled, you can raise and lower the blade height with one hand using a nifty handle. It even has a headlight for night mowing. Really! And it is bright green. It cost me a small fortune, but hey, it is for the environment. It is the right thing to do. Right?
I used it all last summer. I loved it. The neighbors stopped by to marvel how quiet it was. Yes sir, no more going to the gas station to buy gasoline at $3.69 a gallon. (Why does gas cost so much when the U.S.A. produces more petroleum than any county in the world?) I don’t have to change the oil, or the spark plug … ever! I still must sharpen the blades from time to time, a small price to pay to save the environment and have a picture-perfect lawn.
So, this year I was eager to haul it out of the shed, press the starter button and get to mowing my small patch of God’s green earth. It started right up … then shut right down! I tried again. Try as I might, it would start, then shut down.
My knee-jerk reaction, after much swearing, was to consult the all-knowing expert on these matters … Google. Since my purchase, similar complaints have flooded the internet. My father used to say never buy a new car in its first year of manufacture. I should have taken his advice. Before buying this mower, I read all the expert reviews. All positive. Now I am the proud owner of this bright green doorstop.
One fellow in Texas had to bring his mower to an authorized service center 100 miles from his home. The technician said he had many complaints but didn’t know what to do. “It might be a circuit board” (who knew a mower had a circuit board), he said. “I’ll order one and see if it works. Come back in a month and please leave a $50 deposit,” he suggested.
The nearest service center to me is 40 miles away. At least it is not 100 miles away. So, I called. “We’ve had a ton of the same problem,” the service man said. “But the fix didn’t work either. Instead of stopping, the motor wouldn’t shut off. Bring it in,” he encouraged.
I said I am old and don’t drive that far, could they pick it up and deliver it back when it is repaired. “Sure,” he said, “but it will cost two hundred greenbacks.”
Green revolution indeed!
Mattapoisett resident Dick Morgado is an artist and happily retired writer. His newspaper columns appeared for many years in daily newspapers around Boston.
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By Dick Morgado