Out of the blue, a friend of mine called me last week. I hadn’t heard from him for some time. He had just found out that our mutual doctor was leaving the area and moving to South Carolina. He wanted to know what we could do about it. I suggested we kidnap the turncoat physician.
It seems a lot of doctors are moving out of Massachusetts or retiring. According to the Massachusetts Medical Society, 1 in 4 doctors are planning to actually leave the profession in the next two years. That would be over 8,000 doctors out of the 32,116 that are now practicing.
My guy isn’t going to stop doctoring, but why does he want to move away? His reasons are, of course his business, but why on earth would he want to leave our little group of Mattapoisett guys he calls “the Boys”? We’re all old and finding a new doctor is going to be traumatic. I for one may need to find a psychiatrist too. And why move to South Carolina? They have funny accents. It is really hot in the summer, and it rarely snows in the winter. (Come to think of it, it rarely snows here anymore.)
They have hurricanes down there, and Kudzu, the vine that “ate the south” which can grow a foot a day. Don’t count on having a nice lawn. I’m told they have their fair share of alligators roaming around on the golf courses. Doctors play a lot of golf, right?
I know from experience there is nothing worse than losing a doctor who you like, who you trust, and with whom you have built a rapport. I have had two doctors pass away, two who retired and one who moved away. Now this guy is moving away from me too.
South Carolina is much too far to drive, though I’ve thought about it. Another friend of mine, who also shares my doctor, says he has relatives in South Carolina. He says he may schedule his annual checkup when he visits them.
The first doctor I lost passed away after self-diagnosing a terminal illness. They say a doctor should never be his own patient. Do you think his own doctor moved away and left him on his own? The second one died on the golf course. I’m told he made the putt. At least he died happy, unlike his patients who were really bummed.
Another of my doctors gave up his practice on the spot when he received a bill from Medicare for twenty-five cents. The government claimed he over-charged them. The guy had been spending nearly every night late at the office dealing with paperwork, so he had had enough. He told his secretary and his nurse to find new jobs. He was done! Maybe he moved to South Carolina to play golf.
The doctor I had for 38 years retired, and another now spends his time sailing. As far as I know, he doesn’t play golf.
I haven’t yet met the guy my doctor recommended to replace him. He is supposed to be a nice fellow, personable and very thorough. The first thing I will ask him is how old he is. If he is old, I’ll ask if he likes golf or sailing. That could be a clue if he is planning on retiring soon. When you are as old as I am, to have a young doctor who will likely outlast me is important. I’ll be sure to ask if he is planning on moving away.
You have to ask these questions. You can’t take any chances.
Mattapoisett resident Dick Morgado is an artist and happily retired writer. His newspaper columns appeared for many years in daily newspapers around Boston.
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By Dick Morgado